Barkley Lewis Davis

One year ago today we lost our best friend. Remembering him today, and all the joy he brought us. He died the day before the 5th anniversary of his adoption. I wrote this that day with a sad heart. Today I read it with a sad heart, still, but thankful for the memories in this poem.

Five years ago today it was love at first sight.
We knew those green eyes would be home with us that night.
You slept in the car all the way home.
The amount of joy you would bring we still hadn’t known.
We gave you a bath for which you sat still.
The older you got, the more it was done against your will.
Our first fear of losing you came with distemper.
You beat it just fine - not even a whimper.
You were a pro at walking on the treadmill;
Except for the poop it flung on the window sill.
You climbed over your gate, and out of your crate.
You chewed our new TV stand, and that wasn’t great.
Now I love that I’ll remember you
Every time I see that corner you chewed.
When you were a puppy you didn’t like to snuggle.
That was something with which I struggled.
It wasn’t until you were big that you loved it.
All of your snuggles I will forever covet.
I miss your big nose sniffing my face;
Never once trying to sneak a quick taste.
I miss seeing you peek in the back door window.
I miss you weird, floppy, extra toe.
What I wouldn’t give to see you so excited
When asked “do you wanna go outside?”
Your dad’s best buddy and greatest companion.
He’d do anything to have you again.
To Kara you were so kind and so sweet
We’ll miss you not sneaking her toys to eat.
I’m sure she’ll remember “Barky” forever.
No one could forget you, ever, NEVER.
No longer ever night walking you to bed;
No longer every night kissing your head;
Hurts my heart with a pain I’ve never felt.
This should not have been the ending you were dealt.
Your spot on the couch, now empty and sad.
I want you there, one more time, so bad.
The funniest, sweetest dog this world has ever graced.
No other dog will ever replace.
Five small years you brought us so much laughter, love, and joy.
We’ll miss you forever, our sweet handsome boy.

Road Blocks

What am I doing? What are my plans?
I know that it all lies in God's hands;
But in this moment I feel discouragey.
The millionth time throughout this journey.

Is it realistic? A waste of my time?
This being time that's not only mine.
Am I the only one who benefits from this;
And what is it I gain from this experience?

My dreams are many, and all over the place.
The worry this makes I hide from my face.
A thousand road blocks in my life I have laid.
Most by me, and some by they.

Still I have pressed on with doubts all about it-
Relying on my strength which lies in my whit.
It may not be soon that this will pay,
But still I press on this confusing way.

For when I am old, or older than I feel,
I'll look back and admire my will.
I'll be glad this is the path I have taken.
Thankful my grit remained - never shaken.

The Best Mirror

I sat down at my make up vanity one morning and assessed the job ahead of me. As I leaned in for a closer look, something caught my eye. Not the new zit that popped up overnight, but this fortune - "The best mirror is often a good friend." My mirror is lined with fortunes that I've collected over the years. For some reason, this one stood out that day. I read the fortune, and looked back at my reflection.  Me, my mirror, and this fortune.

I thought about my closest friends. The best gals and guys I know. Good hearts, hard working, funny, kind, honest, and always, whether they know it or not, pushing me to be a better version of myself. 

Then I thought, I needed to start working on my face because the clock is ticking. These eyebrows aren't going to pluck themselves.

As I sat there, plucking my brows, concealing the bags under my eyes, and powdering my face, I hopped from thinking about my friends - those people that bring out the best parts of me, that I've spent years and months getting to know, that I look up to, and look to for advice - to how it seems to be rare that we take time to get to know ourselves. To look in the mirror and know everything about the person looking back at us. Appreciating the good, identifying the bad, and learning from it.

Many people depend on others for their identity. Flip flopping their opinions, style, and even beliefs depending on who they're closest to. It's an easy way to live life. We don't have to look at ourselves in the mirror, we just look at those around us and do what they do. Wear what they wear. That doesn't sound very fun, does it?

A counselor told me on time to write down a list of things I liked about myself. I haven't done that yet because I haven't found a notebook large enough to hold my list. But really, I think that's a healthy exercise. What do we like about ourselves? Please, though, don't share this list on Facebook. That defeats the purpose of everything, and an angel will probably lose its wings or something like that.

You are your best good friend. Take time to know who you really are. Life will be more fulfilling, not only for yourself, but for those around you. Don't squash the greatness in you, by trying to mirror the greatness in someone else.