FacePlace Part 2.

 Part 2 of the people who are killing FaceLand.

The look how pretty I am's. Guys, gals...yes, you are pretty. Stop. You know you're pretty. We know you're pretty. We see your pictures, of yourself, at least 5 times a day. Stop. YOU ARE PRETTY.

The vaguebookers. Jesus take the wheel with these people. They need a hug, a friend, a listening ear, and they think they've found this in their 200 FaceBook friends. Peeps: this is not the place. Call your mom, dad, grandma, 911...anyone. But don't come to FaceBook for attention. IT IS THE WORST TYPE.

EXAMPLE: Over it. FML.
FACEBOOK: Why? What's wrong?
VAGUER: Nothing. Don't want to talk about it.
ME: THEN DON'T BRING IT UP. I'M THE ONE WHO'S OVER IT!! (of course I say this silently to myself.)

The public shamers. Grammar police, and arguers both fall under this category. These shamers take every chance to make you look stupid. This can be done by posting an awful photo of you. In this photo, however, they look great, but you look like the Hunch Back of Notre Dame, but with make up and a cute dress on. Or, these people find an awful photo, someone male or female that looks like a disaster, and say, "this person reminded me of you." Keep in mind, these things are on THE INTERNET FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE. (these scenarios have happened to me multiple times, and I'm obviously still bitter about it...and re-evaluating my looks) What's wrong with you people? How does it make you feel better about yourself to make someone look stupid? It shouldn't! Also, these people support the grammar police when they point out a typo. Their comments usually consist of "HAHAHAHA!" It's rude, and stupid.

EXAMPLE: Fixing to watch Amazign Race. Anybody else love this show?
GRAMMAR POLICE: I've never seen Amazign Race, but I love Amazing Race.
SHAMERS: HAHAHAHA! Amazign. HAHAH!! LOL! Who does that?!
Me: You are the worst. Ok. Bye.

Last we have the LOOK HOW CUTE MY KID IS peeps. Everyone enjoys a picture every now and then of your cute kid. You, however, are the ONLY one who enjoys seeing 100 pictures of your kid every day. Do you want to see 10-20 posts of my dogs everyday? No? Ok.

Moral of this story: quit ruining fun things for people, folks. You are the only one who is having some sort of weird, distorted fun. Be considerate of other people's time and feelings.
I wonder if anyone will read this, because I don't have a FaceBook page to share this on. Oh, the irony.

Ok. Bye.

FacePlace Part 1.

One person can only handle so many FaceBook crimes before they go insane, or in my case, more insane. I've recently taken a break from the wild and wonderful world of FaceLand. Here's why: instead of being a fun way to keep up with family and friends, it's become overrun with party poopers. I've found myself extremely annoyed with people I generally like in real life; but on social media I've seen sides of them that I wish I could keep on the internets. The grammar police, the over-sharers, the joke killers, the arguers, the look how pretty I am's, the vague-bookers, the public shamers, and the look at the 100 pictures of my kid that I took today that all look the same.

Since this is long, I'm going to make it a two-parter. In part one, we'll cover grammar police to the arguers.

Let's start with the grammar police. We all have that handful of friends who are the first to tell the world that you have *GASP* spelled something incorrectly on your witty status update. I picture them as sitting in a dark room with their dictionaries out, combing through FaceLand, just waiting for the opportunity to pounce on someone's incorrect usage of "your", or a misplaced comma, or just a general typo. Why do you people do that? Surely there is something else you should be doing.

EXAMPLE: Fixing to watch Amazign Race. Anybody else love this show?
GRAMMAR POLICE: I've never seen Amazign Race, but I love Amazing Race.
ME: Ok. Bye.

The beloved oversharers. These people can be fun sometimes. They post anything and EVERYTHING about their life. This is mostly annoying except when they share something a little too private, and a FaceBook argument ensues. We've all seen it. Someone posts something nasty on someone's wall, and the fight starts. This is when I usually screen shot the entire thing and text it to my BFF so we can laugh about it together. These people also post when they're vacuuming. When they're cooking. When they're "just relaxing", and so on. Peeps, you are vacuuming and cooking wrong if you have the time to post about it on FaceBook. Also, do you care if someone else is doing normal things that we should all be doing every day? No? Ok.

EXAMPLE: Exhausted. Vacuuming the house today. Cooking a 50 pound turkey right now.
FaceBook: ZERO LIKES OR COMMENTS

The joke killers. I absolutely CANNOT with these people. Grammar police are also joke killers, in case you were wondering. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE!?!!? Why is it fun killing everyone's jokes? It does not make you look cool or fun to be around.

EXAMPLE: Knock knock!
JOKE KILLER: You can't knock on FaceBook. There are no doors.
ME: Ok. Bye.

The arguers. These are the people that can turn a simple post that has nothing to do with anything into the biggest FaceBook argument ever. I think these people are usually very aggressive, and enjoy FacePlace arguing so they don't have to stop and actually listen to what people are saying. They can just go. On, and on, and on. No one enjoys these type of online friends, and I'm pretty sure no argument was ever settled, and no point was ever made over a social media argument.

EXAMPLE: The bluebonnets are out. I love them!
ARGUER: IT IS ILLEGAL TO PICK THEM! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? MY OPINIONS ARE THE RIGHT ONES! I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.
Me: delete.

*END OF PART 1* click here to read PART 2